I’m Still Angry, and It’s Still Holy, and I Have Some More To Say (PT.2)

Still angry. But I'm going to be vulnerable for a minute.

. . .

The toll this moment, really the last eight years, has taken on black ex-vangelicals especially is very, very severe.

. . .

I'm still working on writing out my story in like memoir form (shot out to therapy), and so I've been looking for pictures to include in the draft, etc.

. . .

I was the lonely only for the majority of the 15+ years I spent in ministry. Oddly, many of the pictures I've needed have popped in my feed this week, and the pain in my chest stings and hurts so badly.

. . .

I'm looking at myself, even feeling angry with myself for trusting, opening up to, and worshipping with people who, it turns out, are racist and/or indifferent at best toward white supremacy.

. . .

It is a real agony, and it's quite common, I know, because the FEW black folks I was around later on my journey have reached out.

. . .

It is disgusting what has been done, said, propagated, and prophesied in the name of white jesus...death to white jesus—he too is a terrorist. Like, really take a minute and think about what has been done in history in the name of white jesus? Think of the fearful, manipulative theology that's based on white jesus. Look at where white jesus has gotten us.

. . .

Black ex-vangelicals like myself always think we've purged our sm follows and friends' lists, and then a week like this happens.

. . .

Popping up like wack-a-moles are the relationships that "made the cut" they survived Trayvon and Ferguson; they were there though hanging by a thread, even after the campaign trail and p*say grabbing.

. . .

We "held on" to these people because we valued the relationships, and this week we've once again come to the crushing revelation that these people never cared about us. They never knew us. They tell people they have a black friend, but it really boils down to they just know a black person.

. . .

If you are not anti-racist or trying to get there, we aren't friends.

. . .

It isn't political, even though you will tell yourself that.

. . .

It isn't liberal media brainwashing us, even though you'll attempt to quiet your heart with that pronouncement.

. . .

The truth is you would rather lie and say we are liberal, marxist, socialists than tell the truth about your own souls.

. . .

Stop hiding from the truth of who you are by lying on us and get free.

And

If you don't want to be free, fine.

But get off my line. In fact, lose my number.

. . .

if you don't love my black body, my black life enough, to reconsider some of the ignorant, idiotic, racist sh*t you post—then i think we are done here, and maybe I'll see you in the new jeru.


It really has come to that.

and it’s sad.


but we deserve better.


Iguess I should say nice knowin ya, but the truth is it would’ve been nice to be known.



Featured Posts
Recent Posts
Archive
Search By Tags
No tags yet.
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square

Booking

For events and bookings related inquiries, please contact Rebecca Clemons :

becca@subcultureinc.org

Follow Tamice

  • Facebook Social Icon
  • Instagram Social Icon

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

  • Twitter Social Icon

© 2019 TAMICE NAMAE - All Rights Reserved